and when he finished he started shouting "swim boys SWIM"
At barnes & noble, drinking beer out of thermoses, lookin legit.
I went to his work to give him some blankets and ended up blowing him in the bathroom. See what happens when you don't come over?
we've been dating more than a month and i just realized there's no hair on his chest..
you've had sex with him. you must've seen him naked.
nah, i feel like naked sex would be getting too serious for us..
I need to remember that good judgment goes out the window after the 7th shot and the 3rd Lady GaGa song.
He was the drug dealer that jumped out of his car to get my number
don't judge, it's breakfast wine Wednesday.
How was your weekend?
The sex was so good. It hurts to exist.
That is true. Vodka is like a dog. Always loyal, warm, and there for you when you need it
So update from last night: I made friends with a coke dealer, I tore the card scanner off the wall of my dorm, and I passed out on our bathroom counter with my head in the sink.
When one is stoned and browsing online dating profiles all men sound like serial killers.
Gonna play a drinking game called drink til I feel my emotions. The things I do so I can be a therapist
I'd let you fuck my husband in the future, that's how much I love you
My aunt asked how many piercings I had and my mom said seven and I said nine and that's how my family found out I had my nipples pierced.
I have to hand it to her. In my heyday I took home the 'biggest shitshow of the night' award 9 times out of 10. But I passed the torch on to her last night, and she went skipping merrily far and away with it into the enchanted world of aggressive alcoholism. Is this 30?
Randomize
