soo according to the calendar on my phone, I'm 5 minutes late to have sex with that guy from work. Apparently we planned this, I even set an alarm.
if I'm ever single again, I swear to god I'm going to have 87 venerial diseases
dude i just saw a drunk guy attempt to get by IUPD and throw a uprooted bleacher seat over the edge of the stadium. funniest thing of life.
details please.
they caught him 10 rows from the top. the first thing he said was "wait I can explain, i just have to throw this over first."
I'm drunk and I'm watching it's Alwyas Sunny and eating candy. Even I am jealosu of my life
I wish my period boobs were my regular boobs.
I looked at her and said "I now pronounce you pumpkin tits"
Someone spilled vodka all over the elevator floor. Bring straws.
My biggest accomplishment thus far this summer is having sex 5 weeks after hip surgery.
That shot was terrible
You were like one of those guys at carnivals that spit out fire..... Except it was throw up
Listen I just pulled white girl hair out of my underwear. This has got to stop. I was wearing pants all night.
also somebody did cough syrup and i was really worried but i couldn’t express why properly so i was like MACKLEMORE SAYS NO
No it's like. I don't respect you. And I think you're a terrible person but. I still wanna bone it out.
You know you've been having sex for 9 months when you do Rock Paper Scissors for who has to go on top
I kind of just assumed by how he whisked eggs that he would be bad in bed.
I've never been so turned off by an omelet.
I might be a bit longer... I found a hot guy at the grocery store, so I'm following him and buying stuff that he's buying
Randomize
