I wish costco sold astroglide.
i wish my brain was less awake, and didn't try and picture what you were talking about.
giving a blow job on a jetski isn't as easy as it sounds.
sexting loses it's worth when you accidentally text your boss.
so how do you plan on seducing my econ TA?
by telling him that he has a large supply and that i demand it...in my mouth. it shows him that i'm slutty and that i pay attention in econ
Well that wasnt the exboyfriend i expected to hook up with today
This milkshake tastes better than sex. Priorities, I have them.
i need to stop celebrating other people's birthdays like they are m own.. my body can't handle a birthday every week
How did I roll 7 times this month and survive?\nI must be some sort of ecstasy goddess
I asked him why I was having sex with him in the middle of having sex. It was sufficiently awkward.
Until you can top getting paid to have women tell you to check out their ass, my job will remain better than yours
Life if anyone rolls up to my funeral with shitty weed get them out of there
You took nana to a bar?!
she suggested it
Why is there a mildly painful bruise on my back?
You slipped off the sink last night.
Why was I on the sink......?
;)
Im 76 percent sure I took a fully clothed shower last night.
I'm going to start talking to Bill again, he has friends with boats which means we'll get to go on boats.
Randomize
