There was a point where some of my friends attempted 'moi's', which stands for makeout on introduction.
It involved going up to women and very aggressively trying to make out with them upon meeting them
Surprisingly the success rate was exceedingly high
i'm in his phone as sushi coochie
you'd be confused too if you woke up to pictures of a ghostbuster doing body shots off you.
she met some random, took his vcard, peed in his bed, left, and then requested him as her boyfriend on facebook
I just discovered how perfect a shot glass is for putting your chicken nugget dipping sauces into. Like I'll probably do this when I'm a mother feeding my children.
Hairspray is covering 85% of my body. Help.
Wait until you see the roof.
Please tell me what happened last night... specifically who told me it was a good idea to pee in my shoe.
She came back in her actual cheerleader uniform. Made a bad bj tolerable.
Why didn't I see you last night!?
We made out like 4 times....I think I saw you.
Just so you know, my new pet parrot tried to bond sexually with me today. That is what Google told me. I'm not sure of its gender.
the good news is that even if it's Alex's, I can still say it's Colin's, because the kid will come out ginger anyway!
who knew there'd be a plus side to your ginger fetish one day?
I think the best course of action at this point is to cut his balls off to get him to stop reproducing
fuck sobriety. I want to wake up tomorrow in a park or some shit.
i think i passed out for a few seconds while we were having sex but he didnt notice...
I had to cum in my sink.
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