I pretty much can't stop smiling when I talk to you. Even when you talk about disease and infectious diarrhea.
You wanna call me after your homoerotic shower?
he keeps dipping things in ranch and feeding them to me
I had to puke in a pizza box on the drive home. People saw.
Call me immediately, my only recent boy news involves me biting a dick.
I just wasted my iTunes Gift Card on a season pass for Hannah Montana. Bad decision?
It's a strange mix of shame and pride every time I pee at the bar and still see my lipstick on the bathroom wall...
some people popped out of a houseboat and asked us to their party. their houseboat IS A WEEDBOAT. it is full of weed they grow weed. EVERYWHERE.
The bartender charged us for drinks. Life is different.
when I type Christina's, my phone's predictive text assumes my next word is boobage
the bright side of moving is at least my Tinder options will refresh
NO ITS THAT IM A SEXUAL DEVIANT AND CANT FILTER MYSELF
If you can give me an orgasm, you'll get a trophy.
My professor just said irregardless, get me out of here
I guess he's ir-illiterate
I could hear it slapping against his thighs under the robe!!!!!!!!! You are a lucky girl!
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