It's like I'm the Little Bo Peep of sheparding dicks.
Only someone with your twisted mind could come up with that simile. Do you sit around and read 'How to turn Beloved Childrens Stories into Sexual Analogies?' This is the 3rd time you've done this.
You give one guy a hand job and suddenly everyone wants to get with you
i wouldn't be half as slutty if there were better things to do.
She checked into foursquare right as she left work so he would think she was there late and not on some other guy's dick
I have to say for barely passing high school, that girl is a genius.
I just washed champagne and tuna off my body. I feel like that was a successful shower.
Nothing like a Mormon bachlorette party to make you feel slutty
Uggh answer your phone, you are the only one I know who'll be proud of what I woke up next to this morning .
Come over and play the Jeter 3000 drinking game. You drink if the commentators say "captain" or "3000". I'll drink if they say "overrated" or "past his prime".
I made out with all three roommates...I didnt realize that was actually an awkward situation.
this is worse than the time i threw up a condom.
Just saw a cougar do the walk of shame. She asked housekeeping where the fastest elevator was.
You decided that walking wasn't in the cards for you anymore
this old dude from the bar is giving me a ride home in a van, his bumper sticker says " don't laugh your kids could be in here" scary world ou here
The hint wasn't even a hint. it said "stop talking to her" that's pretty straightforward
Everything is scary i hate being an adult i hate responsibility tell me a dick joke
Randomize
