Who is this?
Who do you want it to be?
Sarah Palin
I've got the updo, bangs, and glasses, but I'm blonde
Do you think when graham bell invented the phone he ever thought that people would be using them to facebook on the shitter?
can you pick me up an extra syllabus
i passed out in the shower again
Well his aunt was in the next room so we had to be quiet. I felt like i was on an episode of silent library.
I feel wrong giving my mom a cash gift full of dirty stripper money.
how did the keg end up in the top bunk?
Whiskey dick is like insurance for making bad decisions
NOLA update. Went to Corey Smith at the house of blues last night. Drank PBR and took lots of shots of Jack. Too drunk, cabbed it to the hotel and fell asleep while having sex. Not my finest moment. Now I'm in court. I can't wait to be your attorney.
How long can I keep it classy to hook up in my old office building? Two more years? Does it get weird after 30?
I'm about to ride on a tractor i have no time for you
It is a bad day indeed when you learn that your boy toy looks better in your dresses than you do
In my defense, there are at least three ways to die doing that, and I'm still here. America, Fuck Yeah!
I mean I've seen her tits but I don't know what her voice sounds like
My liver is screaming fuck you right now.
Considering I drank for you last night, do you mind picking up your half of the hangover
Randomize
