Her name starts with A and ends with whore.
I hope you had to get up out of bed and walk across your room to check this text message
Dude you spent the last hour of the night in the bathroom crying, asking someone why you will never be as smart as Mr.Feeney from boy meets world.
tuesday night obama will do an address about the oil spill at 8... it'll only be about 15 minutes... but i think thats plenty of time for a drinking game. key words "oil" "bp" and "responsibility"?
Fuck yes. Let's make bingo cards.
she puked as i came inside her. that has to mean something.
If my sophomore year were to be made into a novel, it would be titled "dances with salvia"
but it was less of a make out and more of a goodnight kiss as a "thanks for giving our drunk asses a ride home and sorry we called your bar the worst bar in LA"
I mean, the sex was awesome last weekend, but I didn't even imagine I'd reached ovarian rupture status.
You get 5 min
Your time limits don't scare me, I'll include foreplay and redressing in that 5 min. If you wanted to challenge me you should say you got an hour, id be scared then and more creative.
What the hell happened to my hand?
Well, you got in a fight with a cabbie while jaywalking, but we got you to walk away. The problem was 80 blocks away, when you punched a parked taxi for "running you over".
I'm only wearing socks and eating tuna, don't do this to me right now.
You tried to order fondue take-out.
From Taco Bell.
I'm in the woods tripping balls the water is rising why don't you answer me
What's an appropriate gift to bring to my boyfriend's wife's baby shower?
Shame?
Only good thing about being an essential worker is that I have a letter allowing me to cross the bridge into jersey to get booze
Randomize
