And now his mom knows I was dipping my pen in company ink
Bts the comment you were making during that picture was "look we have penises"
Molly wanted me to tell you, "she hasnt shit on the floor in a while" like she thinks its an accomplishment.
She sucked her thumb until she was 17. It's like my dick was born to be in her mouth.
He told me he wouldn't do any drunk sluts but me. I guess that's sort of a compliment...?
you two started sword fighting with 3 ft tall spruce trees you pulled out of planters
his grandma walked in on us. twice. and he was truly fucking surprised when i put my pants back on.
I don't think going to Relay for Life and painting our faces while everyone stares at us is a sufficent late night after the bars.
I hope you get some kind or rare disease that makes your dick ties itself in a knot for fucking her you lucky bastard.
I feel like if he almost got me pregnant once, i can at least say hi in a bar
I make him buy me all the extremely expensive high end Mac cosmetics I desire. Wear it then let him cum on my face. I am fucking glamorous.
YOURE ABOUT TO SEE SO MUCH UNCIRCUMCISED DICK
Cocaine and dance dance revolution for 4 hours. I consider last night a success.
Had a dream I dropped the L word and immediately threatened to kill myself
You probably shouldn't be having nightmares about expressing affection
You were on the train yelling, "THIS TRAIN NEEDS TO GO FASTER SO I CAN GO HAVE SEX WITH MY BOYFRIEND!!!"
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