remember when she hit me with her car by accident, well apparently it wasn't an accident.
Another night of drunkeness. Maybe I shouldn't have played death pong...
Didn't you just get a DUI last week?
Indeed I did but death didn't stop Jesus now did it
k, so I just picked a four leaf clover, then saw my dads penis. Lucky? I think not.
I just spent the last 30 minutes shaving my asshole.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i think my mom would be mad if i was pregnant. last time i was she grounded me for a week.
what you doin?
I just woke up vomited poured myself a chocolate milk and turned on the peoples court. you?
reread what you just wrote and reconsider your entire life
all i could think was her face looked like a farm accident
looking back it was a good thing we were too wasted to fire up the chainsaw
No more Raisinettes before sex. That's what happened. I just put it together
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I felt like a personal hot pocket and all I could taste was cigarettes.
She asked if she should pack the condoms, I told her I plan on drinking so much that it won't be possible.
Ah. Hot spring. Infinitely less skeevy than a hot tub. These North Carolinian dudes are all class.
I know it was a good night because I got a lecture from my roommates mom about stranger danger
A check for $9 that I used to buy six boxes of Girl Scout cookies bounced. I think I've hit a new low.
hypothetically, what's the best method to remove an stray semen gob from a roommate's important school document?
Randomize