Plan A DEFINITELY worked... Go with me to get Plan B??
Goodnight sugar queer
Sugar queer??
Why does my predictive text prioritize 'queer' over 'puffs'?
Is there a "Plan B" app for my iphone?
did you know you can prarie-dog a fart??
I think we should see other people.
Already working on it.
dude, showing up drunk to physics was the best idea ever. I just tripled my participation for the semester. I love st pattys day
oh i have no idea about his personality. i imagine it's the same as it was- except now combined with a receding hairline and a beer gut
i offered her breakfast shots. she politely declined.
Just caught my first cougar this fake was worth every fucking penny.
I threw all my money on the ground and said it was for homeless people and fell down the stairs
That and I was watching this life alert commercial and I'm pretty sure my liver turned up the volume for more information
So, no matter what happens today, hold on to this. At least you're not naked under your ex husband's trench coat being stopped by the police who also work with your ex husband. Long story. Actually, not a long story. That's it.
valentines day is a day for loved ones to share. So me and my vibrator. Happy holidays.
This town reeks of teen pregnancy.
OHMYGOD YOU REALLY THINK I'D BE ON OPRAH?!
Randomize
