Anderson Cooper interviews Obama. It's like CNN is teasing and broadcasting my dream 3 way.
Right before we were going to have sex he said it was his "lucky condom" I don't know if that means its used or what.. But I'm freaking out either way.
they were fucking between cars in the parking lot and everyone was cheering at them.
You tried to convince me you were sober by doing jumping jacks. For an hour.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I have officially made out with every girl you've made out with, even the random you met on the Mexico flight
all i know is that i listed him in my phone as 'vagina cookies.' that can only be a good thing.
I think that girl got really offended when I made out with baby Jesus.
His hands kept asking for sex, but all I could think was "dude, this is going to ruin my high".
I went through his pics. Will you go with me to get tested?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Do you realize half our text conversations are you asking me for tit pics and me saying no?
the day has come. I have finally reached the point in my life where I just don't give a fuck about anything anymore. it's beautiful!
I got with him in my watermelon costume so ya you owe me $1
He used a trumpet as a funnel, said something about valve oil, and puked all over the garage.
The amount of dicks I have seen in the last hour is more than I have seen in my whole life.
He took some pill and now he's on all fours demanding we give him chips from the dog bowl. Come get him.
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