Pretty sure my dad just walked in on me jerking off watching guys on webcam. Remember how I used to say "most awkward day of my life?" I'm retiring that phrase.
I have left a significant number of teethmarks in my prhone. My mouth tastes like tequila and cheddar. Tomorrow already feels fun.
I don't care where my tongue is but i t's going to be in all the pictures.
halloween is SO much better on drugs, why didn't anyone let us know about this when we were kids
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Did I happen to mention where i left my keys when I drunk dialed you last night
I need to figure out how to tell my doctor that I don't want to fix my possible fertility problems until AFTER I'm done whoring around in my 20s.
I'm in a pile of cheezits at an unfamiliar location watching dateline on tlc. Stage an intervention.
Also they do not have any come back to america, i miss my fuck buddy cards at Hallmark.
We can't BOTH have terrible sex lives. Get fucked or throw him out.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
HES DOING PULLUPS BE STILL MY BEATING HEART
btw, whatever u do, dont try and take that towel away from her..i tried, it got ugly..she said some things im sure she regrets.
I'm on tinder and every time somebody says something too creepy for me I start quoting scripture at them. My boobs are like missionaries.
I don't trust him but hanging out with him might be fun
he's literally satan but yeah probably
If y'all wanna know how far the apple fell from the tree I'm sexting during Easter service. Mom would be so proud 😳
holy f. i broke my toe giving him head. how does that even happen!?
Randomize