if you do not get any action from him tonight, I am personally walking my drunk ass over there grabbing his tongue and sticking it in your mouth. this is getting ridiculous
yup. cregs moms pubic hair is still glued to the celing
Until last night, I had never actually thrown up ON a sandwich
i just got drunk dialed and its 10am. clearly finals are over.
The security guard told you that the room was off limits and you just looked at him and said,"Its okay, I have a beard".
we came up with a wnba drinking game. take a shot every play that you could've done better. won't make it through 1st quartar
I think we should get high on adderall and nair each other again for New years.
exactly. I want him to have to live with the fact that he fucked me. I want him to look me in the eye and say "you were a drunken mistake".
Quick! What do I wear on a 4 hour road trip with an older guy in the army I had pantomime sex with in a hotel a few months ago?
He was so good, that I'm pretty sure he fucked his religion into me. P.S. I'm Jewish now.
Nothing like playing hide and seek with a state patrol officer early in the morning to get your heart rate up.
It felt like a sumo wrestler slapped me. With a wet hand. 8 times in a row.
I guess I can give it a shot. I usually just get belligerently drunk and go where my penis and feet lead me. No fights or getting too lost, so they seem to be doing a good job
When he couldn't get it up, he handed me a beer, put his clothes back on, and said "try again tomorrow."
Found sauce from last night's pizza rolls wedged under my phone case... While sitting in my 8 am class. What happened last night?
Randomize
