There were 3 chicks in my bed I didn't know when I got home. Now I know all of them. Biblically.
Oh no, it isn't official until she poops.
She got a tattoo in memory of her cat, my attratcion to her is no more.
How am I a tease?
Dude you flashed me ur vagina and walked away.
ONLY PART OF IT.
Yeah kinda weird. My grandparents are here for dinner and I'm chilling on the couch close to tripping out on pain killers. My pap asked me how works going and I prettymuch drooled on myself as an answer.
You went full blown lifeguard... You wouldn't let me sleep until I was in the safety position, so I wouldn't die in my sleep...
We got naked and peed in the garden. Something about bonding with our new house
Does me being hung over take away from how professional I can be today?
Right as the plane left the gate the brownies kicked in. I dont think the guy next to me appreciated my engine noises as we took off
Btw, I feel the need to make sure we have no misunderstanding about this. So here goes. I'll happily mess around with you again. However, I probably won't do it while you're dressed like a creepy clown. Or any clown.
Sending a pic of labia to send to the TN Legislator. Obviously they don't think I know what to do with it so I'm gonna ask them for advice.
He put rainforest music on before we had sex I felt like I was in the Amazon
You gotta come over now. He is eating cupcakes while they are still in the foil.
My boobs weigh the same amount as 25 pancakes
Found your bra in my backseat. And yes it took me that long to finally clean it out from last weekend
Didn't even know it was missing, if that makes you feel any better
Randomize
