Just saw a car with license plate GYPSYS that was full of gypsies
Just passed a sign for an "adult food and fuel superstore". Wtf does that even mean?
im not sure but a few things come to mind which just makes me giggle
Guys should not giggle. Ever.
Dude you can't just initiate a threesome via twitter
1 month til my stepdad becomes a u.s. citizen, so if you want to get in on the divorce pool its your last chance, $5 a square.
Being the only sober one.. I had to feed you guys doritos. You kept licking my fingers.
I know more about this girls vagina than I know about her personality
After last night I think its official. Deep down, we like alcohol more than we like women.
I have a terrible feeling that I made out with a fraternity last night
Are you awake? I feel like I need to confess my sins to someone not on this side of the country.
Weddings might be fun but they are not getting fucked in the wilderness fun.
God I love dating single dads. They've got their shit at least a little bit together and there's always snacks after sex. #nakedfruitrollups
You know it’s going to be a rough day when you scream “Get fucked” at your alarm clock
I fucked her on her ex's Yankee sheets while she was wearing an Ortiz jersey...of course she gets to meet my mother
His name isnt in my phone as “Satan’s spawn” for no reason. #devildick
I am not a whore. I just wanted casual drinking, monogamous sex and occasional McDonald's runs.
Randomize
