You know, sometimes I seriously doubt your commitment to sparkle motion.
proudest moment: just made a guy walk into a parked car with his mouth hanging open cause of the shirt im wearing.
I will never underestimate my ability to drunken ramble. At one point last night i think i was talking about hieroglyphics
Too late, the blunt's already in my cleavage
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Can you do me a favor and fuck someone with a car so I can get a ride home?
At what point did you think the cops were actually coming to hang out with us
You cant hold me accountable for my actions when im high.
Call me when you get up. This hang-over is like dismantling a bomb: I need someone to talk me through it.
you stumbled up the stairs in your heels, pulled 23 one-dollar bills out of your bra and then went and puked in the toilet. didnt say a single thing to me the whole time
I woke up to a full mcdonalds meal being shoved in my face. Mom mustve noticed the empty tequila bottle. I love family.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sadly, she's the porn star that got away
We are 100% horrible people, and im extremely happy we are friends
Why do I have a vague memory of your entire fraternity climbing in through my bedroom window?
I dropped her off at home and her fiancé was shitty, it was 4:30 am. I told him I was the Uber driver
I had such a bad bruise on my knees from blowing him so much, he asked if he could sign it...
I'm eating ice cream out of my purse
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