Right on... I dropped my chapstick
I blacked out
it seems that i get a boner from just about everything now
as if moving home wasnt embarassing enough, mom picked up my laundry while i was gone. guess who needs to find a new hiding spot for his cum towel..this guy.
and i had to drink on "never have i ever unsuccessfully tried to seduce a virgin ginger"
He walked in AS I was cumming. Now even my father knows I'm a squirter.
They let me out of the holding cell just in time for me to get the morning-after-pill. Rock bottom feels even worse with all those hormones.
side note. good thing you didn't come to drunk breakfast. we were judged by children.
isnt this the same guy you hooked up with on his birthday and he then asked, "you were at me birthday?" the next time you were together?
Yeah he got kind of mad when he found out he had chased his last two shots with a combination of orange soda, water, and used mouth wash.
Well. I went to a frat party where they mixed gin and Mountain Dew. My kingdom for some olives and vermouth.
Finals drinking + forgeting you had to take your ambien because you work at 6am mid paper= drunk logic which then entails going on a "detox" run. Puking your guts put in the field house bushes while some random guy says to you "its okay. We're marching on."
This means I've slept with 2 ppl that live in vans...my life is complete
Do you think casino weekend will remind us once again that we in fact are not mature enough to be this old?
I often worry that if I get famous, people from my past will recognize me and start talking to the media
I apparently sent an offer letter to, and then subsequently onboarded, the wrong candidate. How's your Monday?
Randomize
