I just did the nutritional comparison between 2% milk and Bud Light Lime.. the beer had less calories, less carbs, and less fat. It's not looking good for milk in my life anymore
her cat was choking so she kept trying to stick her finger in her cat's mouth while saying "it's okay kitty, just do what mommy does"
I guess I tried to spit on a homeless man on the walk home...Out. Of.Hand.
i'm gonna need a rally to restore sobriety after this weekend...
I just spewed blue gatorade in the shower. It looked like the ocean.
Peeing in public by noon, this is not a good indicator for the day.
That's not how these arrangements work. You don't buy each other stuff unless you break a sex toy. End of story.
I just want to be naked all the time but not in a sexual, come-hither and look at my ass sort of way. In a slightly chubby yet not ashamed way as I eat Taco Bell and lay on soft fuzzy blankets.
It's times where you wake up in the hospital after trying to road surf that you wonder what you're doing in life.
We were hunting our best friend with a BB gun in the backyard. I'd say the vaporizer was a worthy investment at this point.
Tomorrow I need you to slap me in the face. I'll explain then
My guy issues hinge on tonight's game. Caps win, it's Dustin. Rangers win, Josh. I even flipped a coin to see who got what team
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
My vagina knows your penis is sad about Andrew Luck. You should come over and let her comfort him in his time of need
Guess who cheated on their SATs? Also on the same line guess who's getting in to Princeton at damn near free of charge?
Randomize
