you told him you liked to chip your nail polish to look like different countries. im gonna guess that no, you didn't sleep with him.
Tonight's Real World episode reinforced the well-known fact that men of any caliber can hook up with girls named "Crystal"
At what point should shame kick in? Realising I had a one night stand with a man engaged or realising I am that man's wedding photographer?
no more duck duck goose at the bar
Don't make this awkward for me. Don't let your mom come near the bathroom. I can't meet your mom for the first time while I'm shitting. Dont make this awkward.
what are we doing this weekend?
I have enough booze to get us through Armageddon...which basically means that on Sunday we will have to make a trip to the liquor store.
That is an awkward looking cockshot, not gonna lie
You can't text people with drinkers' regret at 8 in the morning. It's just bad form.
I'm not gonna lie. The only reason I haven't drank a whole bottle of crown tonight is because we only had 3/4 of a bottle left.
Apparently duct taping your dick to your buttcheks before the first time she goes down on you isn't as funny as projected. She cried because she thought I was a girl the whole time.
she fell asleep in a torn bush after playing cards at a nursing home.
So hungover and decided to eat a burrito and a pot brownie for dinner, this is what adulthood looks like.
he really is such a sweet guy. it’s a shame i have to break his heart.
So the girl I met at the bar last night came home with me. Played with my puppy. And left.
Flirting with/getting ready to possibly sleep with a married HS classmate and getting added to a bible study group chat within minutes of each other. #Balance
Randomize
