My hair reeks of homosexuality.
you got so mad from losing a game of beerpong that you went into another room by yourself and practiced for an hour and a half.
I'm buying a pregnancy test with my lunch money. Classy.
$1 pitcher night should be outlawed.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I want a picture of impoverished children wearing Oregon national champions shirts.
Yes, I feel sorry for the tribe that gets those. They won't be able to hide from the lions.
she said she was living bicuriously through me.
we were totes just talking about. huu in the bathbub. 5 girlszzz
Well, I now know how many glasses of wine it takes for me to fuck my neighbor.
It was your ex but it was not eighties night, it was pudding wrestling. And either thank you or I'm sorry depending on the state of my pants left on the doorstep
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You came over, called every girl Comrade Heather, and then declared that you were an Eagle, and we were your young.
So all in all, a good night.
I just remember looking over and seeing you on top of him and us high fiving. That's when I knew we'd be perfect roommates
I just gave an orange Froot Loop the finger for falling on the floor instead of my mouth when I was pouring a mini box of cereal into my face.
I promise not to pretend to be Jesus and take the wheel. But to my credit you shouldn't be saying that while I'm that drunk and we are in a car.
I'm gonna be late for work because i decided to masturbate and forgot to put my clothes in the dryer
He’s basically a sexual superhero. A mild mannered marketing intern by day, but a very horny 22 year old with pornstar stamina at nights!
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