im on my way to getting "i just graduated college with no money, no job, and no plan" drunk
I want to dip my vagina in sugar. Not only will it be sweet, but it will have a nice sparkle.
Being a responsible DD does not include attempting to coordinate a 4 taxi caravan to bar #3
i draw the line when you ask for directions at a place you're already at.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You know we had a good night last night when today I opened up my Google Translate application and the language is set to Persian and the phrase to translate is "I want you to suck my dick".
He's going to let me keep his bowl in my car. Does that make us Facebook official?
She gives the worst handjobs, it was like raw meat on a cheese grater
so I'm staring at this cat and wondering..is the tail of the cat the derivative of it's head?
stop getting stoned after studying for a calc final.
Did I get stoned on a sunday afternoon and speak to someone on the phone for an hour about cats and their behaviour? Glad you asked. And yes.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Excuse me, but I got friendzoned and all I could think about was the fact that I didn't have my underwear back on yet.
This morning on my way to work I saw a guy ride his bike straight into a woman and her dog while trying to light a bowl. Thought of you.
I know of an excellent nanny. A lot like Mary Poppins but way cooler. And likes pot.
My roommate just caught me cleaning a tostitos queso jar with my hand and eating it. He didn't judge. Bonding moment.
Its a good night when you get to makeout with a cowboy
You showed up at 4 am holding a beer and wearing a wig you apparently found in the dumpster.
That explains some things...
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