dude 8 am is too early to start pregaming for new years eve
clearly you are not from wisconsin
she both took care of me and took advantage of me. it was BEAUTIFUL.
he offered to walk down from the bar this morning to my house and bring me a guinness...
how romantic. its the irish mans version of flowers
He tipped the stripper with quarters. After that not even the waitress would talk to us. I had to move to another table to get a lapdance
I've got my laundry in the car, tonights 1 night stand pre-req is an in suite washer and dryer. Let's do this!
i feel sorry that you can never enjoy the feeling of shaved balls
I have a king size bed, I guarantee multiple orgasms, and I'll give you a ride home in the morning. Respond quickly.
I really want to lead this Amish guy into temptation
Okay I can't even be mad, I'm in mid-plot to hook up with Michael Phelp's third cousin.
Then you better bring Starbucks and a box of condoms in the morning.
Oh shit. This is getting real.
He drives a tundra! Of course I fucked him. Im just saying eventually im going to need help moving and he has a nice truck. Its like thank you for later on
i thought this was a perfectly normal conversation between two adult men about why this children's cartoon is quality television but no you just gotta be talking shit again
You know that voice that tells you to do something spontaneous after 1am? Don't listen to it.
Getting blackout drunk infront of my family was never on my bucket list, but now that I've done it I'm cool with it.
I've been trying to fall asleep with ice packs covering my vagina for the last hour... Sorry for being vulgar. I'm going to kill myself.
Randomize
