This is evicking siegelnvs
Im sorry?
This is fucking ridiculous*
I just paid $5 for a shot of el toro and the bartender wasn't even hot. Rock bottom.
You know you hit rock bottom when you make out with a guy named after a cereal.
I'm buying eyelash glue, salt, and limes. We know how tonight is ending.
We have 10 gallons of home brew. And james has an amazonian blow dart weapon that sticks in bags and the wall. Come over
God that barista is texting me bout his life like i care i mean dude just hook me up with free coffee thats why i gave you my number
They're not that bad of drunks, they come back to the vehicle with more stuff than they went in with, so its a profitable venture.
I'M SO WET FOR FREEDOM
Who says there aren't gentlemen anymore? My one night stand warmed up my car for me
Wellp yesterday was spent absurdly hungover and today was spent in planned parenthood so I hope that's not an indication of the year to come
You cried for a while then lifted lots of weights then cady's ex put glitter on your tits and then you took a nap. I got you pizza and brought you home. Nothing too exciting.
it was one of those unspoken contracts of silence like "I teach your daughter and you work at a strip club"...I don't tell if you don't
Come camping we have xanax and steaks
I just noticed, at some point last night I got on iTunes and purchased over 100 classical piano songs.
you walked into the party, and all you had on was your left sock... literally.
Randomize
