D3 body, D1 cock
Remember, sex is not sex til both people cross the finish line. Until then, it is just a favor.
i got us presents. or arrested. we shall see!
dude she's married.
so? a ring don't cover no holes.
One of my friends found 6 bags of gummy bears on the roof. He lives a building over. Apparently even hammered you still have quite an arm
I made him sleep with a condom on and i passed out on the carpet with only a bra on.
I knew I was rolling hard when I realized I had been rubbing the couch for an hour
Her mom walked into the garage as we were smoking a kush blunt with sombreros on.
Dunno yet. Probably just gonna play the s.t.d. russian roulette game with random bartenders at the beach again. Same 'ol same 'ol
Yes but from my experience being high around your own baby makes you feel like the worst kind of mom
We were walking home from Pluckers (read carrying your drunk ass) and out of nowhere you yelled "Say bitch you got a Facebook?" at a random chick walking by.
Apparently mr clean magic erasers don't clean blood off the ceiling
I made a half way decent playlist
Im gonna call it "hanging myself"
That Spanish guy who looks like Ben Affleck from that club we went to 3 weeks ago is still texting me.. He clearly doesn't remember what I look like.
the sex is SO much better when he thinks im going insane
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