I think horse shit smells the best of all shits.
Remember when we were trying to guess how many people could fit in my shower? The answer is 7
Highlight of my evening, pile of books falling onto me in front of people
we just stared at taco bell's menu on the website for 2 hours
you wouldnt answer to anything but devil's advocate all night.
That shit is worth it...they got medicine for that now a days
Meeting relatives from another state drenched in tequila and smelling of weed. I'm gonna kill you for soaking the only bra I brought in Jose Cuervo Gold.
Dude. Zebras have bad attitudes.
Dave got tied up again. I'm done breaking into girls houses to cut him loose. At least before noon.
Ultimate Fighter Idea. You and I both have unprotected sex with the same girl in the spam of days. Whoever the child belongs to, wins and that child is the ultimate ultimate fighter.
How high are you?
I feel like I'm laying on a pillow cloud. With little baby angel fingers between me and the cloud lifting me up. Singing hymns in my ear.
Whatever she smells like compost and feathers.
I believe they call that patchouli.
why is there a chinchilla in our apartment, and where did it come from?
question nothing. DON'T QUESTION A FREE CHINCHILLA.
I'm not in bed, I'm driving and puking at the same time.... first for everything
Going on a first date tonight...pros: my boobs look amazing. Cons: my abortion isn't until next week.
Randomize
