Dude judst bought snd smokked tfour white widoew jointsd in Asmsterdam. Wstching the Cvhiefs gsme. Oh Boy.
You are why other countries hate Americans. But I say God bless you.
I just heard a girl in all seriousness say, "I told him I'm not a stalker. I just really really want to talk to him."
I made friends with a raccoon. I pet it. Like I was Pocahontas.
I didn't know there was such thing as a bad orgasm. Until him.
we walked in to her beating him with a broom while he was trying to sweep ramen into a box. there were packing peanuts everywhere.
just wrote a 6 page paper on my blackberry. including 3 sources. college is teaching me good things so far.
seriously when did my vagina become a soup kitchen for the poor
I feel like I can hear facebook. What did we smoke?
Its fiiine, tuesday is like the thursday of wine wednesday. And i mean, free beer for girls at the grove...im not NOT gonna take that offer up!
Look at your life. Look at your choices.
Jelly. This is your "are you still alive" text. Any response will do.
Hey I found a cat!
To confirm, you are a grown ass man and you just asked me what her vag looked like.
It's 4/20 and I spent the morning in the gym and am working later tonight. I don't even have any weed. Why am I adult-ing again?
That was the first time I ever heard of a female getting road head while driving... thanks for the memory and making me happy ending..
Cats are difficult to handle. Also they are impossible to baptize.
Someone fucked a stripper in their rental car, there is goddamn glitter everywhere.
Randomize
