Haven't eaten in 11 hrs. I am gonna have so much material to talk about with anorexic girls now
Seriously, I'm delusional. Idk how these models even walk on the runway
i left the bar a little after you and ended up flipping my car in the arbys drive thru
I am in shape. i keep telling you that.
Round is not "in shape," it's "a shape."
The bartender told me the best pick-up line was to look deep into her eyes and tell her your gonna flick her vagina
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
part of me always dies a little when i go to the "2 women seeking 1 man" section in craigslist's casual encounters to find nothing there. it's tragic
just peed in the tub. didnt notice the passed out drunk guys there until a minute in
Define 'illegal'. Your idea of it and my idea are in separate universes.
so now that i'm sober i just want to apologize for violating your back seat...... on a brighter note thank you for playing the little mermaid song "kiss the girl," really set the mood.
Apperanlty I was screaming "It's hard to swim with a broken ankle sir" and then tackled the lifeguard. The joys of blackouts
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This is going to be the summer remembered forever as the giant 3 month long mushroom trip.
I guarantee that wasn't the first penis someone placed on her forehead.
I'm concerned that this blind man on the bus has a boner right now
What's the best day of the week to potentially find out you're pregnant with your ex's baby?
If you find my integrity anywhere, please tell it to come back home
I know you're here! I can hear your phoneeeee. Wake up and do illegal things with me.
Randomize