he asked if he could put his cape on while he was still inside me.
It's my birthday, I plan on masturbating and boating, maybe even masturbate on the boat.
When I realized it was a dog, and I still had a boner, it was awkward.
What's bad is when she said "what hobo did you steal this dick from?"
I am the worst sexter. i actually told him .. if i had a penis, it would be hard right now. BTW thats a turn off.
Going through my purse trying to find money for this cab but all I keep pulling out if chicken from my burrito o ate an hour ago. Help?
You force fed me pizza in bed last night. That was fun
that's the second time I've left that bar and slept with the person that's driven my car. thank god I don't take cabs..
Well my grandma put the turkey in the oven for 4 hours and didn't have the oven on.
I tried to order champagne at IHOP last night
I know it's 10:30am but Finding Dory starts in an hour, and I have four points of molly. You down?
Afterwards the first thing I said was, "You know, you're probably the first guy who has ever gotten laid wearing Star Wars pajama bottoms."
Why do I always have at least 8 men with whom I am conducting some sort of poorly planned love experiment?
I didn't have any choice but to cuddle you. Your hair was stuck on my nipple piercing.
She dry humped my leg in the raw while I was still dressed, came, and then fell asleep on top of me. All I got was a bruised thigh. 2020 needs to end.
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