Iiiiiii almost fall ib the lake
My new years resolution is to be alive new years morning
so my doctor just swabbed my throat, and he looked up in suprise when i had no gag reflex. yea, he just judged me.
my dentist asked me why my tooth was chipped, i told him i couldn't remember. i think he understands.
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she was mad because i didn't remember our fuckaversary. fuck buddies are getting too demanding..
Oh, and that ugly chick transformed into a veritable goddess when she came back at 3AM with a handle of vodka and 100 chicken wings
All I remember is apologizing to his sister for being a bad influence while I was throwing up into a big gulp cup.
This is the high leading the old right now
Well his ex just grabbed his dick and told him yep Ill call u later
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I cannot even describe to you the most amazing ass I have ever had the pleasure of seeing walk up the stairs in front of me just now.
God loves me. So high, craving Jimmy Johns chips, looked down, unopened bag in front of me. Still doesn't feel real
I really just want to eat 20 mcnuggets and slap everyone with the box when I'm done.
Tried to shave my legs but the rug burn on my knees from last night got in the way.
He stopped me in the middle of a blow job to call his grandma for her birthday.
At least he has family values.
He passed away peacefully doing what he loved to do best. Eating a pound of vodka gummy worms and failing at sex and the city trivia.
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