Guess who has two thumbs, loves booze, and just dug half a handle of rumb out of a trash can in a freshmen dorm? This classy gentleman. Good day to you sir!
k, so I just picked a four leaf clover, then saw my dads penis. Lucky? I think not.
Just saw an old lady trip and stumble. Laughed. Kept Driving. I'm going to hell.
if socks could get pregnant i would have catholic amounts of kids
Just used my last prints at the library for brackets instead of final reviews. Hello March.
I'm sorry i ruined our friendship with a boner
Ripped as fuck driving to get a portrait of my cat tattooed on my arm
We are without power. He took ALL the lightbulbs out and hid them.
I drew a nude short fat middle aged woman today and liked it
It was honestly one of my favorite days in art class except for the 20 min she faced me and kept looking at me and we made eye contact
I'm ordering dildos in a santa hat. You?
Hey I'm at the gym and I need your personal trainer help. Also can you send me that picture of me eating a sausage. I want to post it on instgram.
I used my mad pharmacist skills to turn ordinary birth control into morning after. I think my professors would be proud.
It was a "have 911 on speed dial" kinda night
Are you alone?
No, but I have to leave him in my bed while I go on this date.
You told me you were going to invite all of your Tinder matches to the same bar on the same night and make them compete for your affection in a series of Lust Olympics. Winner gets laid.
Randomize
