But I'm halfway naked in a seductive pose! I just want to get this right...
You had a beer at 10:30 this morning?
Ya, I didn't have any Tylenol.
I get free beer too. Its called a vagina and its accepted everywhere like visa
is asking a girl out on a date while in another girls bed in poor taste?
I'm spooning a three legged dog right now. Started drinking whiskey with Breakfast. Best part about being biracial is Irish cousins. Dog Pic Attahed
There's a stripper banging on the door demanding to see you.
The vagina on Hilton Head is mighty fine this time of year.
Just used "I used to work as an inflatable toy operator" as a pick up line. Freshman frenzy is great...
Pizza toast. It's like pizza but on toast. BC we are broke. OMG its so good.
You would never do this sober.
No joke, I just found $85 on the ground. Must be because I bought you all that liquor. So much good karma.
Best thing I ever did was get a dog. She's like a living trip alarm to warn me of visitors while I'm masturbating.
There's no time frame.
For drinking wine out of the bottle and taking nyquil at 9 AM? There probably should be.
I accidentally told my mom I broke my drug nail this weekend
Thank you for coming with me today. I find it appropriate that we celebrated my negative pregnancy test with slurpees and donuts.
Btw you guys passed out eating DP dough and watching Pocahontas... on a monday
it was stoner heaven..
Randomize
