i think the fact that he graduated high school the year i graduated elementary school is sexy.
I am not sure how to feel about the fact that I was turned on by someone with a penis. I can't believe Lady Gaga would do this to me. :(
So, do you ever feel like EVERY SINGLE ONE OF YOUR FRIENDS IS INVOLVED IN A MASSIVE AND INTRICATE CONSPIRACY TO COCKBLOCK YOU AT ALL COSTS?
hand shaped bruises on both boobs again....i wish i could say this is the first time.
I vagually remember taking your birthcontrol and washing it down with ash water
We took it as we must go to waffle house or else we will upset the gods.
yeah dropping that class because i really don't want to be known as the girl who fell asleep in class and threw up as she walked out for an entire semester
Some days you just pee in a stairwell and go home.
Well, most of my extended family doesnt know about my love for the penis, so they dont have a reason to disown me
There is a direct correlation between gooch size and male fertility. Science.
Yeah! Don't let me leave the house without marijuana and a juicer.
Well, I dont really know how much penis you have at your disposal so I cant be sure
Do you think I can get away with quoting Work Bitch by Britney Spears in my speech?
He caught a Pokemon on my head while I sucked him off. I think I need to marry him.
i'm 99% sure they had an orgy while i was passed out
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