i knew i liked her after she chugged tequila, fell down the stairs and said "oh dont worry i knew it'd be faster this way"
Don't make me out to be the bad guy. You practically MADE me cum on your food.
i just got yelled at for having sex. this sorority thing is worst than being at home. at least at home they think im still a virgin
But i guess when you use blowjob as a verb you are entitled to some language allowances
dude a monday night stripper made you motorboat her. you should get that checked out
Oh god now he thinks I'm into him because I've been staring at him trying to figure out what animal he looked like
Driving home this morning in my minion costume makes me rethink the 0 tint on my windows.
Your normalization of crazy is frightening.
My walk of shame turned into having to get his dad to tow my best friends car out of the snowbank in his driveway
Hahahahahha. You saved a homeless man. You're actually the mother Teresa of skanks.
I just had sex with the Sheriff's Deputy. You should call me.
whatever. i don't need to be drunk to tell you i'd suck your dick if you had one.
To describe how high he was he said, " I'm cocked out of my ape sandwich" so yes...that was some pretty good weed.
Never go to your parents' super bowl party. I learned, in great detail, "Why Aunt Trisha is a hoe" Not enough beer on the eastern seaboard.
It's next to that place that has cock fighting.
Randomize
