hi i'm bored and kind of... in a sort of dirty mood
pics
no i'm at a mixer dressed up as the teenage mutant ninja turtles
there's a booger on my laptop, i suspect it's yours
I don't smoke a lot but now and then I do. Weed and I are like still standing naked in a bathroom together deciding if we should blow one another or bolt for the exit. An awkward relationship.
I feel like his dick looks like a decorative autumn squash.
I stuck a note to his door with my gum explaining why i couldn't spend the night. as i was walking away, he opened the door...i fell down and played dead. deffinitly didn't see me.
i shit in a pringles can and hid it somewhere in your house....happy hunting
Neighbor who got arrested at 3am just said he'd split the $ with me if I testify as the witness in his police brutality trial. He was also holding a baby and a case of beer.
he tried to give me his business card but gave me his health insurance card then realized it and offered to take me to the strip club
I now have a full length bright red cape in my possession. Best sex trophy ever.
Someone came into our hotel room and took our remote
What should I do?
I just watched your sister pour half a bottle of cotton candy flavored snow cone syrup into a bottle of marshmallow flavored vodka, take a swig, frown, and pour a cherry coke in.
Just wait until she offers you a "powerita"
I'm at 45 minutes post orgasm, and I still feel my insides spasming. Pretty sure I just fucked Superman.
How do you feel about a threesome?
Will you be there?
I'm the one asking!
Omg there's puke under my pillow. Clearly I puked and tried to hide it. From myself. \n
Yeah I knew you'd like him. He's emotionally and physically self destructive.
We would have so much to talk about!
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