STOP fucking him and come play in the snow with us!
i hope whoever thought of bagged wine flip cup last night has the same hangover as me. not ok.
i think i am going to devote my summer to making my cats internet celebrities
So I'm seriously debating forwarding these sexts to his horse faced new gf including the ones that say he still loves me... but I still need his check to clear... decisions decisions
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If it looks really sketchy and smells like burnt pizza and pot you're in the right place
She fell asleep with me.... We found her pantsless in the dogbed in the morning... Russian foreign exchange students
this is what happens when you pick a roommate a year in advance.. she ends up hating you for hooking up with for of her extended family members
Bro, he broke his neck diving into a kiddy pool.
That's how you know it was a good night if two months later you finally realized your skirt never made it home and you found out where it was.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The smell of mosquito spray completely ruined the sex.
No like you've drunkenly persistently tried to take your shirt off in the middle of a park filled with children. You had already thrown your bra at my crotch.
When someone's woman crush wednesday is an ultrasound of her unborn daughter...
I can't
He sent me a dick pic from work, but I could see all the pizzas in the background. Now I'm just hungry.
Btw "you gettin a workout in" isn't a great gym pickup line. Like no I'm fucking grabbing lunch on my way to class.
Try sleeping with him.
Why is it that all my gay friends have that solution...
Cuz you will have an answer or have sex.
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