Bitch is talking to much, howd u ever get her 2 shut up?
It's worth it.
How worth it?
Back door worth it
Went to bed at 4 in a strangers bed. woke up wearing scrubs, realized i was gonna be late for work so i just wore the same clothes as the day before... i don't have a toothbrush and im pretty sure there is leftover semen in my mouth. at some point i think i was at the beach cuz theres is sand in my underwear. i love newport already.
I literally sat down and peed with my underwear still on. How does that happen?
Dude, please wake him up, there are pills all over the floor and hes the only one who knows which ones to take simultaneously.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Ive consumed more rum studying for law school finals than I did that time I fucked that fat chick in the back of VW Beetle. It's all ugly, but for different reasons.
Oh thank the gods of upholstery, i thought that was never coming out...
his face was nice enough, but his choice of footwear screamed columbian drug lord
So you told me to remind you that you vomited 3 times in the street because you would forget so here is your reminder
I'm stoned as hell watching the new Star Trek movie. My life is 110% better than it was an hour ago.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It is a bad day indeed when you learn that your boy toy looks better in your dresses than you do
I've had sex to the movie Tommy Boy too many times to be acceptable.
TURNS OUT they were both cheating. Like the Gift of the Magi except for shitty people
I'm going to go ahead and refrain from sexting you in an airport that is currently at a "level orange" security threat.
I just woke up in a prom dress on your bathroom floor, yea I'm 32.
About that photo of the cake you just sent. You do realize it’s on a glass table, right? We can all see your reflection in it, and you’re very obviously naked.
Randomize