Well apparently he's into motor boating.
i just had a dream that i could control how black Will Smith was with a remote.i need to stop sleeping with the TV on
I need like a "Cookong High for Idiots" book. Or a car.
no more everclear, i just stood next to the toilet and peed my pants. then went back to the party soaking wet.
You were rubbing your foot on one of your legs and kept saying, "My sock feels like a waterslide!"
What the fuck am I going to do with a pinata full of tampons?
If you could smell my eyes you'd understand the whole story
and i'm going to kill you for what you did to my nipples last night. of course i want to hang out
someone in the elevator just told me i looked like a struggle but i smell very pretty..
Dude, I'm trippin balls. For real, I thought this bag on my floor was my dog for the longest time...
I just ate the lyft drivers bacon cheeseburger. Well fuck me this night escalated quickly.
He says the sweetest things but also that he wants to choke me when we fuck so it's kinda perfect.
I'll explain later but I just had to legally commit to abstinence for the next 4 months
Never in my life have I seen a grown ass man get on all fours and attempt to buttfuck himself with the leg of a chair. I love Vegas!
right now I am washing the alcohol and shame off from last night
Randomize
