What happened to our ballroom dancing plans
Some girl just toasted to friendship and love. I want to break her neck.
I sometimes wonder how many of the girls I know have done anal...and why none of them have ever dated me.
I'm cleaning the house. And I can't stop listening to Enrique Iglesias. Am I gay?
I even have the new album if that helps you make a decision.
He just refered to Steak and Shake as "a good place for couples". I will definitely not be shacking tonight.
Also managed to rip my pants and set myself on fire. And oddly enough I'm still not ready to ask for 2010 back.
I used the lotion his mom gave me for christmas to give him a hand job. It felt so wrong.
How did "late lunch" turn into 8 solid hours of drinking??? I feel like death.
I was like a migrating bird last night. Navigating on pure instinct. Don't remember how... but I made it home.
My hands are stained pink. I look like I fisted a muppet.
how much boxed wine can one drink before work in a couple of hours?
As if I didn't already know that I was in the friend zone, our conversation that included the words "kiddo" and "old friend" really was a knee biter.
Fucked him in his sketchy van in the Applebee's parking lot. In other news, my dry spell is over.
And then he tried to convince me that he could wear a condom instead of pants to go out.
God, I missed his penis.
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