I woke up this morning and "The Wood" was on tv. Touche TBS, touche.
I assume you are not resopnding because you are having sex thus i give you a text message high five
Also how the fuck did i get like 30 brown napkins
She showed me her prom dress from 2001, which still had her date's cum stain on it.
Oh, so that's why you call her jizzarella....
I probably shouldn't have followed up that rainbow sherbet with beef jerky. This is a whole new level of fat, even for me.
Just threw up on my desk at work. They are making me go home.
My professor just used the phrase "balls deep in your mind". My day is officially made.
That man deserves a slow clap... He defied the power of the vagina
That's not your dick yours is smaller. Nice try.
Wait why do you have a pic of someone else's dick in your phone?
I used my iced coffee to ice the bump on my head from last night
I know but we're going to blackout city so it'll probably be warm there
I don't drink nearly as much when I'm coupled, and that's not a lifestyle I can commit to
Where does drinking Flat, warm beer from two days ago rank of the No Fucks Given scale?
Is it acceptable to bring pot to a funeral or am I going to have to do this shit sober?
He weighed maybe 130, his dick had to be 30 of it. SO BIIIIG.
Randomize
