How come twittering sounds sexual?
Because of Bambi.
Just found out I slapped a vegan in the face with meat last night.
All I wanna do is sit in water and get drunk. The only thing more American is giving birth to eagles.
all he has to do is look at me on new years and hes getting laid. thats how hot he is
I think the best part was when you jumped over me naked.
Seriously. There are at least 10 other people drinking at the bar with me at 10:40. Im justifying it with the fact that I've been up since 5am.
Well, I now know how many glasses of wine it takes for me to fuck my neighbor.
I look like one classy bitch running in heels through my backyard while carrying a small dog and a large bottle of booze. How am I still single?
Seems like you've kicked summer 2012 off well.
Second time this week margarita night turned homoerotic
This is how my night is going so far. The bartender bought our last two rounds and I'm chasing a bee around the bar with a foam bat.
All I know, is I had green sex and beer and got driven home. That's it.
Do you think it would be a margarita if you just out tequila in a sonic slush?
I definitely fucked a Trump supporter last night but I wouldn't let him fully admit it because then I would've had to leave and his cock and abs were too perfect
Uess honpr I rememebrt hEzS cuter
You'll have to translate that into sober in the morning.
dude i haven't had a solid dump since sunday and i still cant hear out of my right ear
Randomize
