Totally saw a hot amputee. I think this is called character growth.
I least I know I can't get pregnant because it's on my hair
shes trying to light up her bowl in front of the fan. everytime it blows it out she just gives it a dirty look.
my coke dealer is running a Black Friday special
the coke olympics were a bad idea. there's a tree uprooted in the front of my building.
He had a huge mole on his dick. Genetics has cockblocked him for life.
I am telling you that nothing wakes you up like stomach acid exiting your nostrils at 10AM
So squirting runs in the family.
Is it sad that i just saw my moms thumb on the table & i instinctively put mine down cuz i thought she was thumbmaster?
Last night at McDonalds, you lied across the counter, pulled up your shirt and yelled "BODY SHOTS"...
How early is too early to study with margaritas?
seriously, who doesn't want to get shitfaced and have sex to the backstreet boys?
I got pulled over by the same cop in a 4.5 hour window. Got off both times. Fuck yes.
So I came to the conclusion that who ever pour my ever clear out saved my life
he's drunk and referred to his shoes as foot condoms
Randomize
