what if I'm pregnant?
smusmorshion
It started with Hannah Montana and ended with alcoholism.
you came back at 4am in a suit jacket and a half eaten burrito...
The only good thing about trampolines when you're fucked up is the gushing blood really cleans all the bad coke out of your nose.
he passed out on the stove with a cup in his hand. yes the pictures are hilarious
I'don't know who your are but its that time a day. Drunk it up. Did you buy a House for goundhogs days?
I LOVE YOU SO MUCH I'M ON A WILD DICK CHASE FOR YOU. How many lesbians do YOU know that would do that? HOW MANY????
And I just want to be like your tongue is not a FUCKING sword
the bandages come off on Tuesday. we can try out my new breasts then.
Just saw a couple chasing each other on lawn mowers. Oh South Knoxville.
Would seriously like to slash his tires but then I feel like I'd have to deal with him longer.
Me and my liver are not on speaking terms.
Look, I tried but his dick tasted like disappointment.
Bitch I slept on the ground 2 nights running
Doing shots with my high school valedictorian. Bucket list
Randomize