I asked my mom, she said yes...but you have to shower with grandpa.
kill, fuck, marry: alice cullen, hermione granger, ginny weasley.
damn... fuck alice for sure, I feel bad but i think I have to say marry ginny... and kill hermoine! I can't believe I'm answering this right now.
rather than putting your name in guys phones, you just texted 90999 to donate $10 to Haiti and then gave it back to them
did you fuck him yet?
hahaha who do you think your talking to.. a nun?
I only want to screw him when I'm drunk. Problem is I try to be drunk as often as possible
Go to petsmart and tell me if the dog trainer is the guy I slept with friday. Thanks.
No she had like 2 shots and started ironing her clothes and whispering random shit in my ear
Driving by his house every hour is not stalking, it's a reconnaissance mission... How else can I confront him
Are we doing anything tonight after class for Valentine's Day or just being lazy and having sex?
If you expect me to say anything other than 'lazy and sex' you're crazzzzy!
He puked in the voicemail. That's a true friend right there.
Hey your work video crashed my computer. The 8 pornos running in the other window didn't. Congratulations.
Did u know it's unconstitutional to turn down a shot during 4th of July celebrations.. Rest now dear liver
Pedi-lyte stocked
They think its so cute and admirable that I learned French. BITCH HAVE YOU NEVER HEARD OF GOOGLE TRANSLATE? sexting foreign bitches, there's an app for that
also, my mom just called to make sure the dick tattoo on your arm was fake..
She's nice. But even when I am with her I am thinking of her mom, literally the hottest woman on earth.
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