I just walked by a ginger with a mullet. I repeat GINGER mullet. So help us God.
What am I legally allowed to do to a girl that is the equivalent of me punching her in the face?
do you think she knows her nickname is brickface?
Apparently he crashed because 3 different girls were trying to give him road head at the same time.
ripping the fire alarm off the wall probably seemed like a better idea last night than it really was.
He was like Sweeney Todd... But, without the killing people part.
So... He's a barber?
No. He's got crazy hair, and a revenge fetish. But he's hot. Does that make up for it?
Holy fucking shit the worst thing for a hangover ever--A FUCKING BOLLYWOOD MOVIE BLARING IN CLASS
Uhh dog found a condom. FYI its on the table by couch please dispose of it. No reply Necessary
And the cops are back. At least my pants are on this time
I got bit by a peacock. That's how hard shit went down last night.
I woke up with masking tape on my nipples this morning........... WHY DO BAD THINGS HAPPEN TO GOOD PEOPLE
You're going to love the baby's room.
I doubt it. I can't have sex there anymore. That severely limits the appeal of the room to me.
I hear my roommate snoring and I feel bad for his girlfriend but then I hear them having sex and I guess it all works out in the end.
I WANNA... wait, will you kinkshame me?
Nah.
I WANNA KNOW WHAT HE SMELLS LIKE
She just texted me saying "come over and eat me out, my vagina smells like honey glazed ham." I know I shouldn't be, but i'm just so curious.
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