when a girl says 'did you just try to kiss me' you should leave the bar. trust me.
you know i think I know why you are single...because you are real cute but then you open your mouth and let words come out and all goes to hell.
They told me I spent half the night at the club with one ball hanging out my shorts. Apparently it got me 1 free drink, 2 numbers, and thrown out.
So... My dad just saw the Plan B package and the beer cans in my backseat.
Oh its cool I'm sure he already knows you're a whore and an alcoholic.
I have a new reason to go to work: I can tell which 3 of my coworkers are sisters just by looking at their butts.
Well, ive pounded a baby into a stripper and a girl who was on jerry springer, a 16 year old is logically next.
she might purposely get aids just to give it to you. I think she might hate you that much.
My mom is purposely blasting Shania Twain downstairs so I can't jack off.
I think it's our patriotic duty to get high and watch the state of the union tonight
as she was beating the hell out of his ex, she screamed prison rules, and smashed her head with a beer bottle. I'm oddly afraid yet so attracted to her now.
I think drinking White Russians at half past four in the afternoon is perfectly acceptable. I'd bought a LOT of milk and cream that needs to be used up. Resourceful, check, fuckable, check. You have a great girlfriend here pal.
NO HOOKUPS IN THE CAR. I will try as i might to practice what i preach, but there are no guarantees.
You're the horniest male I have ever encountered
Makes it sound like you're a scientist documenting your discoveries. I warned you.
So i stood up out of the sunroof while he gave me oral. Car was still moving. Exactly how illegal is that?
I think putting on real pants was half my issue with today
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