he spent the whole night trying to convince me into a2m. i won't even use the pb til i clean the jelly knife. i love him but it's not going to happen.
ever had your bank call you to verify the 4 seperate bar transactions from the night before? I have
Silently passing ghastly beer farts as I move around the bridal department at Tiffany's. Call it my contribution to the holiday spirit.
thank you for introducing me to everyone on chat roulette as I was passed out.
May have caused an international incident. More details after we taxi in.
It's a good deal. He teaches me how to longboard, then we have sex
I always figured rock bottom would've involved more hookers
There's a skull full of vodka. How bad can it be?
door buzzer is fixed. took shots with Latvian electrician to celebrate. nice guy. he is gonna bring mixers next time cuz kombucha didn't really cut it for him.
Can't decide if I want to watch full house or the fleet wood Mac concert during the presidential debate.
Just discovered i ordered the nhl center ice package back in september, the operator said there was a note next to the time I called, indicating I may have been intoxicated while calling (no clue why but it was noted)...meaning I was drunk...meaning ill never miss another sabres game...i love me and am beaming with self pride
Its mothers day, andI woke up with 12 bar stamps on my face, holding orange juice and a box of tampons. This can not be happening
Please tell me I made it home with both shoes on
Nope
I'm really sorry I hooked up with your student on the dance floor..
Ya know. I was thinking of my slutty moments the other day and finally know which one makes the number 1 spot.
Randomize
