I want to see a picture of the girl worth ruining our relationship for
Denmark girl wants me to go out but i remembered shes a raging whore with extremely questionable morals. Not feelin that tonight
Do the low cut shirt test. If he stares at your tits even in front of your brother, he's down.
Theres been so much buildup for our genitals to meet, one or both of us is sure to be disappointed.
I'm hungover as fuck. My vagina hurts. I locked my keys in my car. It's about 93* outside. We're having sex in the pool when I get home
I'm still finding big obvious chunks of condom around my car.
Note for the future: whiskey syrup is AMAZING on 3am pancakes.
My bed smells like stale sex...I want it to smell like fresh sex, I miss you.
How the fuck did I get back? Last thing I remember is being on some hot guy's shoulders yelling at girls shaking their asses
We'll talk about it later...
He was pretty handsy. Told me I tasted like smoke. Good think he tasted that and not the stomach acid I just puked not ten minutes before.
I got you a "sorry you think I'm pregnant" present
went to their party, left halfway through to fuck a pledge, came back to keep drinking. I think everyone won.
we just smoked for like ten hours and got froyo. not a bad start to the weekend.
I can't dude. Last time I was there, I blew the bartender in the bathroom at last call.
The best thing about last night is when drunk Lauren asked cop if she could smoke a joint in front of him. And next thing I remember she’s smoking weed with a cop. How awesome is that.
Randomize
