he's 24. he finally texted me instead of using facebook chat. baby steps.
"auto-tuned camel" is how i'd describe the noises she made
dude. how can brian from family drink at fucking bars? he's a dog and definitaly doesn't have pockets.
College is just filling the gap until I get a rich girl pregnant
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you should have seen his reaction to my boobs, it was like he just met god
Do you want the really bad news or the bad news? Or do you want it in chronological order?
well i just got discharged from the hospital after getting pegged in the head by a t-shirt gun so thats how my night was.
Just had a 10 minute long conversation with my cat about how if I died, and he needed to eat me to live, I'd totally be ok with it. Definitely still drunk.
Where did this racoon skin hat, stop sign and bag full of tacos come from?
Narnia or $5 pitcher night either way
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm back in the dating scene now... Since the legality issue calmed down. And my stalking charges were dropped.
Ya. My thumbs are those buffalo's, but my legs are spirits and my torso is that Indian guys and my head is the eagle
You should of known that i was high if i refer to myself as melting into anything
Nice people suck dick too. I'm proof.
Want to come over and dangle your tits on top of me like a skewer?
I’ve gotta be honest, I didn’t expect to have sex. I didn’t shave... anything. You couldn’t have been impressed.
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