i just realized that we are the poor version of bethenny and jill from real housewives... and I'm jill. this is a 6.5 on the depressing scale
at least we're not in new jersey
When he brought me into his room he showed me his James Bond calendar and matching sheets, and then told me that his goal in life is to be James Bond….epic fail. Mission Impossible. I was scared to take off his boxers to find out that they were also James Bond themed.
RUN LIKE YOUR JAMES BOND
He didn't know it yet but he was about to go down on me.
she just refered to her hymen as "the mrs"
i found your underwear in my bra... i dont even remember how this happened.
shit. all i remember is the look on your moms face.
I thought I hit my peak drinking in college. Just finished first day on Wall Street. College was nothing.
You kept screaming "Its taco night!" before every shot
yeah, but the first step is admitting you have a problem, the next step is kidnapping him
Under someone's bed. Not sure whose. I think they're sleeping in it.
Does hooking up with the gay pledge count as hazing?
I swear they were about to hook up!!
I know because I was in the tub taking an imaginary silent bath. They stopped cuz I gagged on my shot.
I can motorboat myself in this new push-up bra. I need to go out tonight.
Too bad pet owners lack respect for my training in ancient Buddhist and holistic rehab therapies.
I'm not sure the Buddhist consider pot brownies holistic rehab therapy
Nothing like a little " am I gonna shit myself " to spice up the work day
When the hubs wants to wear his training mask during sex and pretend to be Bane you just go with it.
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