i am so afraid to go to the bathroom. i am afraid i am going to fall asleep on the toillet.
Special does not even begin to describe that text.
I think we should go ahead and pin a note to my shirt when we go out that says"do NOT buy me shots"
On the back we can put possible side effects may include: indiscriminate making out, brief crying spells, yelling in jibberish, and sudden sleep.
Im so hungover
Come over i have rolls
Ecstasy rolls or Challah rolls?
if you could put a roof over IU campus it would be the biggest whorehouse in the nation
Pretty sure that Albanian broad gave me something last night. Now we play the waiting game.
We're attempting to get a tally of how may people puked last night...Please respond with your vomit status.
we knew we'd be okay when we walked up to the dealers house and he asked us to please be quiet as to not wake his nana.
His reasoning for leaving the keys in the ignition of my car overnight with the top down in an open parking lot ? Too eager to have sex. The sex was not that good for him to do this twice....
Would it be inappropriate to rub one out in the gym shower? I mean, technically, I pay $80 a month to do what I want so could they really say anything?
Shower is fine. Steam room is shady. I've probably done both at one point in my life so I can't be used as a good reference.
Went outside and he was playing rock paper scissors with a cop over a drunk in public ticket.
We perfected the quiet ass slap during sex so his roommate wouldn't wake up.
That's a gentle way of saying I passed out like an 18-year-old on his first trip to Tijuana
You kept running around yelling "I need my pajamas" & then you got naked. Shit just went downhill from there.
andy told me i got kicked out of the bar and was so drunk i forgot and got back in line. the bouncer was zero impressed
Because, after all, nothing quite says life in 2020 than doing laundry at 9:40 on a Friday morning to make sure you have masks and underwear.
Randomize
