found out what b.m.t stands for.
what did you think?
bread, meat, tomatoes, but then i realized that could be practically any sub.
I wish I could donate my sober boners to my whiskey dick
he's werid. hell kiss me after i go down on him but he wont kiss me after i eat anything with mustard.
i love that you felt the need to clarify that you don't actually have drugs in your vagina.
She was holding a turtle doing a beer bong out of a flower watering can.
this whole plan B standoff thing with her is really starting to make me nervous
She asked if I wanted to "Mormon Motorboat" her, which I guess is just motor-boating her through her cloths. Turns out I did.
Taking my underwear off at work was one of my better decisions this weekend
she broke up with me the week she got divorced. maybe I should grab a beer with her ex
I told her I wanted to use him as a chew toy while simultaneously licking his face.
Did she tell him? And if so, was he cool with it? If yes, date him, date the fuck outta him.
Look, as flattering as it is, I'm getting a little tired of being everyone's go-to girl for a threesome.
So far I've taken two naps, went out and bought a pizza called the Hipster, and in 15 min I'm gonna make a snow angel. Conquering Snowlandia. How bout you?
Well, we ended up labeling the relationship. We are now each other's designated butt-toucher.
He totally fucked me in his Chewbacca socks
I’m looking forward to our Cougar years. These freshmen know how to fuck
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