I no longer want to be the gay that plays in the revolving door at RelationshipDale's like a seven year old with a.d.d.
i have a food baby... i think its a boy...
I need to stop sleeping with republicans and cowboys fans.
ASIANS HAVE SEX TOO!! I just watched it happen in the library.
I think it might be brain cancer. Hangovers can't be this bad
Does anyone know who that girl who fell backwards and broke the shoe rack with her head was?
You didn't see us wave? How could you not? We were all going like 10mph screaming at you. We were stoned and didnt wanna run over pedestrians
Well after last night I am convinced he is real life Tyler Durden. He only exists to me and somehow keeps me out of jail this entire time
This is why Helen Keller didn't drink
Just saw some dude tumble down the stairs of the bar while leaving...fist pump...and then sprint down the road
PA to anyone at the party last night and wondering where your pants are: they are in my backyard.
I may or may not have pissed on my floor last night
Welcome to 22
I'm scared to touch anything in this apartment. Even the ceiling.
In the name of friendship, I’m going to kick your children into the ocean.
HER BOYFRIEND CAME HOME WHILE WE WERE GETTING IT ON IN THE SHOWER
At least you smelled nice while he kicked your ass.
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