you're like a bully in the Christmas story
How did I get so drunk? We had to fish that girl out of the Goodwill Donation Box.
No stitches, just platelets and will power
i'm 67% sure he was trying to sing in hawaiian
I almost masterbated to the avatar love scene ha it was so hot
You paid the taxi driver with a comb last night.
i think he drugged the pie. i'll get back to you on that later.
Three things I need a picture of: your friend, your bong, and your dick.
I WALKED myself out of breath. And I'm lost I'm a Tim Hortons parking lot. That's how hungover I am.
Oh and I ate all of your Cinnamon Toast Crunch. Consider it part of your reparation payment for accidental anal insertion. I may continue to collect payments until I am no longer sore.
I just saw a commercial for God of War and heard the nickname he gave my vagina.
I should become a firefighter. Who uses his cock to fight fires. Like a Superhero.
Update: his apartment is apparently in the campus Christian community center. The fact that I fucked him on the couch in the lobby is officially my crowning life achievement.
Dude, you fell into a tree, and both of the tables, AND the window well... Resilient aren't you?
As long as it's more "this is where i see an issue" vs "psst.... tiddies" then i have no argument
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