Just spent the rest of my time at that bar trying to keep a probs underage closet gay from touching my kitten to prove he still likes girls.
first i yelled "you cant get it up?" and then in the middle of it i opened a Corona
I just farted at work and tried to cover up the noise by shuffling papers around
I wish i could convert my hornyness to productiveness. I would have written a fucking book by now.
week 6 of class: i have yet to go to spanish sober. i love being THAT girl.
she asked if she could keep her bee antennas on during her mugshot. i love halloween.
There's been so much talk around your vagina it's like a local celebrity
and then the other night his penis tricked us both into sex
HOW DID U BEAT A GAY GUY IN GAY CHICKEN?
I just used an app to identify a song that was playing in the background of a porno. May god bless your soul steve jobs.
They wouldn't serve more then two Shots per person, so you grabbed a group of strangers and said u werre buying them all shots, then proceeded to drink all of them.
god. I was just thinkin about the fact that there was a time in our life when we didn't drink.
Me and two guys that I made Eskimo bros all soberly slept together in my bed
the cop found his r2d2 bong and asked me if i ever smoked out of him. i'm like, no sir. he's like ahh. if i were to smoke, it'd definitely be out of some star wars character.
easily made my night.
What happened to your back?
Rug burn. My ass is even worse.
Randomize
