you know what i hate about salt? you can't see it.
pwbgyin
what?
penguin condom
He told me he wouldn't do any drunk sluts but me. I guess that's sort of a compliment...?
Oh and fyi, I've been drinking and about to do free weights. I'll late you know how this goes.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We just shotgunned beers for America
I wish I could just hang out in ERs.
New rule for Thursdays: no high gymnastics
only i would grind with someone to harp music at a gay wedding
my last search of the night was "the physics of green eggs and ham" what the fuck
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Speeding home on my break at work because I forgot to grab my Percocets that I have because getting through work sober's too hard
I'm very impressed by your ability to explain a story about your fiery snatch solely in emojis. props.
I mean I've seen her tits but I don't know what her voice sounds like
just called AAA to get my keys out of me car and then afterwards realized they were in my pocket...stoner life
I crawled to the bathroom this morning there were cornpops scattered on the floor? What was I doing last night?
I got really worried when i woke up and there weren't any missed booty calls from him between 3 and 5 am. Apparently his gf is in town ...
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