I'm more concerned as to why he has a playlist entitled Dem Club Beats.
$22.99 left in the bank til payday = 3($7 jack & coke) + 2($0.89 T-Bell taco) + $0.21 in case of emergency.
math is fun
She didn't know my name but she knew I was Canadian so she just called me Canada. It sounded like the national anthem when we were fucking.
i love that you felt the need to clarify that you don't actually have drugs in your vagina.
it was like i was on a global safari of uncircumcised men
we got plastered, then made lists of anything thats ever been in our vaginas
I know. Brad is upset because he was lower on the list than "that carrot stick"
Ps I don't think it counts as being open minded if you didn't know he was missing a leg until you had already started making out.
He smells so good today
Seriously, back away from the sexual harrasment suit.
Hurry there's four guys dressed up as a bachelorette party, one has a condom veil and the rest are selling candy bouquets and asking if anyone wants to get laid for $5
Definitely! I will do that this week. Right now, watching drag queens play with my dad's beard.
you can't tell me not to come to work cause roads are bad then ask me an hour later to come in and expect me to be sober
He won a jackpot and invited his ex girlfriend over to have sex on 5grand
The amount of drunk I'm going to get tonight will be somewhere between Jim lahey and bojack horseman
It's a beautiful day to be high as fuck
He ate me out for my sailor moon manga and I gave him a blowjob for his Devilman manga. Pretty sweet deal imo
Randomize
