if you're gona send my txt to that site at least change my area code plz
I think i found my new favorite workout. Go to a party where you dont know anybody and constantly walk around the house so you dont look awkward standing alone. im up to 1.8 miles
he told me he had a problem with me going both ways. like what the fuck. what guy says that to a girl? goodbye planned threesomes...
At least our walk of shames never included a bag of chips and a jar of queso..
just reminessing about the wedding and were they seriously to tight to serve a meal oorrrrrr was it just another one of my black-out-by-dinner drunks
the fact that you actualy have a 'black-out-by-dinner drunk' is a bit deserving..
He got completely naked and is now just standee there next to my bed poking at my hamster. Why can't I get sex the normal way.
I need to puke. I need a shower. I need rehab. I need to detox and puke. I feel like demons are inside of me.
I took your mattress from your bed. Don't ask questions. Love you. See ya later.
Listen, unless you want to spend your birthday in a trunk, you better invite me
So... How much of our rent is drug money?
I legit feel like I had sex with Joey Fatone. Is that weird?
Crying into a glass of wine at 10 am isn't exactly how I planned this day to go
I'm like a hairless cat ready to be ravished
Good news!! I can adult!! 😂 turning down the strip club on a weeknight has become my crowning achievement ðŸ˜ðŸ˜‚
Question: how does one descretely ask the ice cream truck driver thats out at 10:00pm if he sells weed?
Randomize
