We're starting "No Hesitation Fridays." The probability of this going horribly are between 100 to 125 percent
My one night stand found me at the library and randomly gave me plan B. He was scared I was going to get pregnant because he has a very high sperm count.
she went to her friend's wedding and caught the bouquet. as the unwilling rebound, can i run away now?
guess who's bored in chemistry researching how to sneak weed through airport security in her vagina?
Im not spending 10 to get hit on by potential transexuals even if they are cuter than most of the girls I dated.
I was just too high to be in rapids man. I just screamed for the entire time I was jostling about.
I'm still in my ugly sweater and underwear drinking coffee next to a plate of assorted treats we stole from the party. I got a new sweater by the way, its shoulderpad-y and looks like a news anchor got thrown up on by Liberace. I'm pretty proud.
Who spent today in nothing but a vajazzle and candy thong? SORRY NOT SORRY
It's 4/20 of course I'm going to smoke in the portapotty and be ripped outta my mind at the lung cancer walk.
Yah... You need to get here. Evan just peed off the karaoke stage.
Riddle me this: I can stream porn just fine but try and watch my college class and nooo it won't work
Be there in 4 minutes
There's no button for "gave my boyfriend's cock to a friend" on my intimacy calendar.
Just in case you blacked out, we had sex, you came in me, we need plan B, we fell off your top bunk, broke your roommates chair, i still like you, but i'm in pain and am going to bed
I twisted my ankle while drunkenly playing in my adult kickball league. Now I'm having to use my grandpa's cane to walk at this party. I am so single.
Well when I woke up this morning I didn’t think I’d be masturbating to my own LinkedIn profile today but here we are
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