Just did shrooms. Don't feel shit! Wsasted 40 bucks on this! Nothing's happenig except for this little gnome on my shoulder and the couch is melting. Fuckin waste of money.
we're getting ready to take strippers to breakfast. I love my life.
rolled in at 7am w/ 2 girls i met at the strip club. my neighbor was getting up to mow the lawn before he took his kids to school. i'm 31. he's younger. if given the chance, you think he'd want to switch places?
We were tigers and tigers don't wear pants
my math professor just wrote "parallel" on the board, but spelled it "pararrel". guess what country he's from
He's a fan of Alicia Keys on Facebook. It doesn't NEED to say 'interested in men'.
I was officially considered the drunkest person in cuba when the bartender at the swim up bar made me wear a life jacket for 'safety purposes'
Apparently my downstairs neighbors don't much appreciate it when I do drunk aerobics at 3am on a Wednesday...
I need to pay that drinking in public ticket, but I also really want to get a spray tan next week... so priorities.
My pants zipper is stuck halfway down. I have to interview an intern later. This day is gonna be amazing,
I'm at an awkward stage of not being able to tell if I wanna keep having fun or if I need to die in bed
My neck is PURPLE. This is NOT a good day to be indoctrinated by the cardinal...
We inadvertently arrived at the strip club on Bear Night. The dancers all look like young Santa Claus and there's a buffet....
Well I'm a full service fuck buddy so lemme know if I can get you food or water or anything
Masturbating to the DNC live stream. Not my proudest moment
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