sometimes when you bring the thunder you get lost in the storm
yeah, we don't understand. the wings losing for guys is like girls finding objects in their body..just weird and sad
I could give you a full detailed description of 75% of the penises in that room
we were holding hands throwing up into the same garbage can; if thats not true love i dont know what is .
my brother wants to know why there are wet balloons in his bed and i think you forgot to throw the condoms away but im too hungover to check if thats what hes talking about
she said her black crocs were her 'dress up crocs'
Just went through ex bf's and hook up buddys and liked pictures of them on facebook. A friendly reminder that I will be back in for the holidays
You sent me a picture of you licking the bottom of a shoe and the caption was "it tastes like shoe"
The guy at the ER said it was the first time he's given stitches for a funneling accident. Then he seemed upset that I took pride in that...
If you get laid dressed as my dad that makes me extremely uncomfortable
Is it sacrilegious to take tequila shots on Saint Patrick's day?
Chick in the kitchen making breakfast.. Yours or mine?
long story short, he tried to fuck me standing up, toppled over, and now I have four stitches next to my eye
When was the last time you got laid?
When was the last time you came home sober?
touche
Ugh hungover at a laundromat is a terrible feeling. For some reason I keep getting sucked into staring at the clothes spinning around and around and it makes me want to profusely projectile vomit everywhere
Randomize
