That guy youre talking to looks like Brian from Family Guy.
Midget Michael Jackson impersonator dancing to Beat it in Penn Station almost caused me to miss my train. God, I
she kept checking the clock when she was giving me head and at midnight she said she had to stop because she cant eat meat on fridays is that bitch serious
Brutal- a couple weeks back I had a 28 hr blackout and four day hangover. S'why I decided to haul it in
i dont care if i had to wear a dress to fuck her, she was super hot and i stand by my decision
Just did my hair and make up at mcdonalds so we're in the same boat.
I know it's not standard practice to meet the couple you donate to, but i'm curious as to what kind of people saw my picture and said, we want that girl's eggs
Bro I can't jerk it to my phone anymore. I feel Siri staring back, and she's real disappointed.
He started screaming "fuck me I'm Ryan Gosling" and proceeded to pick up the smallest guy at the party and carry him to bed.
My attorney has my name in her roldex as need to hit that. Im gonna win my case
Cheez-its and a bottle of cab...for under $10 you could win this girls heart
Who knew wearing a toga outside would provide for and infinite amount of dick to choose fron
I'm alittle affraid you might be dead, seeing how your work party is in an hour and you haven't answered me? I mean I'm picturing you 1. Passed out in your car covered in fries or 2. On a boat in a box to Mexico covered in coke. Please let it be number 1. And aren't we going to your work party?
I just drove by a stop sign that had a used maxi pad stuck to it WHAT THE FUCK
i asked my neighbor to open a bottle of vodka once and then we slept together
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