think what you will about my sexuality, just get the cigarettes
i love how you can even make your typing come across bitchy
can we please move this conversation out of my vagina?
I think the best way to start out any day is to watch 80's music videos. It's like visual wheaties.
I put it into a sports analogy for him: there are three teams in the league- friends, fuck buddies, and dating, and the fuck buddies roster is full, pick an alternate team
No vaginas are yucky and I don't think you're old enough to handle one yet
my dad just said 'either you're lying about your plans tonight or you kids are really lame nowadays'. maybe we should nix the singles saturday slumber party and go to a bar.
You texted the wrong number but that's probably the best call you'll ever make.
Just put the gallon of milk in the microwave. Dad might know im high.
So, do you think I should wash the ashes off of my forehead before going to the strip club?
yep. it's official. for $40 they will let you lick the stripper pole.
Note to self: Do not bring gift bag with cock ring inside to family Christmas. Leave to unwrap at home.
I. recorded a message of me yelling at myself to "get up out of that bed" and set it an alarm. REALLY loud
To be fair I went my whole first week without showing up to work drunk!
He's mad about lube? You know what, don't even. I'm not in the proper mindset to discuss lube.
Went to a club yesterday was dirty dancing with this guy, reached back to move my hair and punched him in the face.
ANTI-GAME
I am so proud to call you my friend
Randomize
