Regardless thnx for trying to help out, I realize we are dealing w/ very stupid girls here
he was sending me dirty texts but i was watchin nickeloden and couldnt get into it
im ashamed your my cousin
I seriously need 2 stop fake jacking off in peoples faces at work...the I.T. Guy just showed me the security surveillance tapes.
"Tonight I'm turning swine flu into an std" this might be how zombies come about. Peace civilization.
just saw a guy driving a atv down the highway in a tux.... only in Iowa...
I put bits of fruit cocktail in the jello shots i made because i knew that they were gonna be the only thing we ate all day
slut bingo starts in ten minutes ...
The bartender gave me the kids toys. Paddle ball & a gecko.
Hillary is trying to make pickle pops with vodka and sell them to kids at the ball park.
You gave your boss a bj to get the safe employee of the month award?
Watching the wiggles while tripping on acid is the scariest fucking thing of all time
Congratulations, you've begun to unfuck your life.
Company meeting and there he was. Felt a little weird like 'last night you were telling me how your dick loves me, and now we're listening to a report on sales figures'.
I can't believe that after 9 years of signing things as "BATMAN", the first place to turn it down was the liquor store down the block.
I feel like I purchased a one way ticket to hell last night and its non refundable.
Randomize
