Are you dead
Yes
Oh man
Someone fed me too many chicken nuggets and sexed me too hard
I'm single ladies-ing it in my kitchen alone. after I just made an intense new breakup cd and before I drown my sorrows by marinating alone in my jacuzzi later. I cant tell if this is a new low or a new high
I hope im prettier
yea, just so you know this whole self-loathing thing is getting pretty fucking annoying
once the "do it" chant starts, any shot at an even remotely dignified party experience is dead.
Wow that was a lesbian tornado.
He's only a freshman and he needs to expirence shit like that..
YOU would be the Freshman Expirence
Carrying your RA back to her room wasn't the conclusion I was expecting for the first thursday back
There is nothing more embarrassing than your birth control alarm going off while in a meeting with your boss and they tell you to take it.
Just had that moment when you realize the two drunk women shoving all their money down your clothes were your middle school teachers...
Doing tequila shots with my ex to celebrate that we broke up... not awkward at all.
I may or may not be wearing slippers and a TMNT hat. This thing better not have a dress code.
Well I just put wine in my tea
The sex is great, I just think it'd be better if we listened to Deftones during it.
Just got a motivational speech from the tacobell drive thru guy at 2am
I just spent the last three days trying to hook up with a dude for his pool privileges
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