Lonely and bored. Am I allowed to play Dance Dance Revolution by myself?
He's like the fucking Houdini of bras. Not only did I not feel him take it off I didn't find it until two days later.
I sang Jenna happy bday in the middle of throw up hurls
no one could get around him on the stairs cause he surrounded himself with all the empties he could find, he said he was building a fort. then he passed out on them.
Just so were clear I meant the head your face is on
It's all coming back to me. I drank moonshine from a milk carton from a guy named tomohawk last night.
Him naked in my bed with a bottle of vodka in one hand, a pipe in the other, and a rose in his mouth.
Talking to him sober hurts my brain
Fuckin' raining men in my bedroom while I'm trying to drunk eat a rather large portion of pasta. Like shoo I already picked who I'm sleeping with. Pasta wins.
I HATE HIM SO MUCH I HOPE HE GETS IN SOME WEIRD ACCIDENT WHICH MAKES IT IMPOSSIBLE FOR HIM TO NUT
Would it be creepy if I masturbated with my face in the pillow he slept on last night? Cuz I'm pretty sure that's about to happen
All you have to drink is moonshine and ranch. This is bullshit.
Magyver!
I'm concerned I may die tonight. All I've been told about my bday shenanigans is to bring slutty clothes, a bikini, tylenol, sunglasses and pjs. Tell me what the fuck is going on...now
bring lube too
i hate all of you
Sometimes I look at dogs and just thing about how it's weird we both came from wolves
Lay off the drugs kid
I'm so drunk I forgot what to do to go pee.
Randomize
