I painted my nails silver
And what are the implications of that?
Is there supposed to be a msg in that? Just thought ud like to know it looks like I fingerbanged an alien
Kris Allen: Jason Mraz mixed with John Mayer and a splash of orgasmmm
Just paid for that girls abortion on my dad's black card. I feel like P-Diddy.
In Berlin they just cured HIV with stem cells. I am hereby fucking anything that moves.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The question is do I invite my fuck buddy to my graduation party now that my girfriend found out about her?
i wasn't gonna shower then i remembered i slept in my own piss
My professor just told me I'm living a lie and I found puke on my pants. How do you think it's going?
Come make me food. I feel like if I go in the kitchen I will just get Gin.. and pass out in there.
Oh and yeah that does count as public urination.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I need to reevaluate. My boss gave me drug money. I overslept on my couch. And I had my student teacher go to McDonald's and get an egg mcmuffin for me.
he looked at me and said 'happiness is a warm blanket' then stole my vodka.
So the dog chewed my vibrator last night. It added a nice new texture actually.
I have a story for you. It involves waffles and getting naked with the local weatherman.
My vagina still hurts from yesterday. That's the last time I think riding a mop bucket is a good idea. Don't let me do that again
I don't know. Seeing the vagina stretched out beyond normal proportions is like watching your favorite superhero die.
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