He said he only talked to me because I talk dirty in bed.
You yelled "bananas are an excellent source of pottasium!"4 times in the middle of class. how do you not remember?
I don't even know what potassium is.
you rearended a car with your bike and then puked all over his back windshield. They made BUI's for you.
at least he lost his v-card with a bang... or should i say the clap.
Somebodaw call 311 postw fire bunso on vietena floorwnkd
I am getting drunk. And i'm going to paint my face and slide down the stairs like Pochahontas. Goodbye
My head feels like a nest made of hair and cum
The reign of the rally queen is over. Welcome to the age of the walking dead.
It's like refusing a bong hit from michael phelps... You just can't do it
In other news I have discovered that grindr is the easiest way to get free meals
Can't tonight. I'm supposed to get drugs for some college kids. Just doin my part in helping to enlight america's future
Well, most of my extended family doesnt know about my love for the penis, so they dont have a reason to disown me
I just sugar scrubbed my vagina. If I don't get laid tonight, me and the universe are gonna have some problems.
SCUSE ME I KNOW YOU DIDNT DO THAT MUCH COKE IN 10 MINUTES
Ever get that feeling that you're the back up booty call and half way through securing the fake date excuse to try to get in your pants, the guy hears back from the original booty call and drops the conversation with no explanation?
Randomize
